Do you pick up the energy of other people? Feel unexpectedly drained after social interactions? Ever need a nap after a day out in the world?
YOU are an Empath!
Empaths are energy and emotion sponges. We soak up what others leak out. Somehow, when they get around us, that leak turns into a full on rushing waterfall rather than a light drip. Why does this happen, and what can we do about it?
To get to the heart of this question, it is essential to understand the underlying dynamic between an empath and those they draw to them. Let’s give a little more context…
Empaths are gifted with the ability to naturally tune into the energetic landscape, whether they are aware of this or not. They sense what’s going on underneath the surface of an exchange. They know when someone is BS’ing them or attempting to pull the wool over their eyes. They also know when someone is in emotional turmoil even before that person realizes they are.
Their powerful presence and ability to listen on this deeper, energetic level can be a catalyst for healing. This happens automatically. Meaning, an empath could be standing at a bus stop and the stranger next to them starts sharing their entire life story, especially the trauma bits. This stranger unconsciously, energetically knows they are with an empath, and that there’s an opportunity for transformation to happen. The empath knows this too, also unconsciously.
… except, since both the empath and the stranger are not aware of the actual exchange happening.
The empath, by default, sponges up the energy of the stranger. Guess which one feels drained and the other uplifted? Whether you’re an empath or the opposite, it’s up to each of us as individuals to be responsible for our energy — both in what we give out and project as well as what we take in and allow ourselves to digest.
So, here we are — a drained empath after sucking up the energy of another. An energy clearing should work to help you feel better, right? Just a quick grab of one of those tools in your back pocket to come back to yourself again. And yes, this does work… temporarily. What really needs to happen though is a shifting of the underlying dynamic. How can we do this?
1) Acknowledge what’s really going on
“I am an empath and wired to pick up energy. I can make a choice around how much I allow myself to take in the energy of others. I can choose to change the energy.”
2) Decide what you’re available for
“Feeling drained by others no longer works for me. It never did. But I didn’t know how to change that before. Now I do. I am no longer available for this. The new dynamic is ________.” This is where you get to decide what will work for you.
3) Create and state the boundary
This means envisioning that boundary energetically, perhaps walking away physically, stating the boundary verbally. You have every right to draw the line around your sacred energy, what you share and give out along with what you take in.
There are many tools, techniques, and ways to create boundaries to stop yourself from feeling drained. But until you shift the dynamic by acknowledging what’s actually happening and choose what to replace it with, the cycle will continue to be on repeat. This is where you start. The next phase of the process would be practice, process, and trust.
Practice meaning, repeat the behavior above until it becomes second nature. Process would be working through whatever comes up for you until you have more of a sense of emotional clarity around how you’re playing into the dynamic, so you’re no longer recreate it. You must understand, the reason relationship dynamics exist in the first place is to alert us to how we are running our energy. These dynamics energetically magnetize, or rather, call in people who mirror back behavior that we get to decide is ok or not ok for us.
Now, what if you’re an empath AND a healer? What if you do healing work in the world, want to continue doing so but are done with feeling drained by what you love to do? There’s a solution for that too. Stay tuned, as the post for that is coming out soon!
In the meantime, if you’re ready to not be so knocked over by energy, better align with your path and potential, and activate the inner leader that’s rising within you — join the next Live interactive pop up community, ROOTED, designed for empaths, healers, and starseeds to help them get grounded. Want more of a self-paced option, go grab Unlock Your Magic and you’ll be on your way!
Thanks for reading. Originally published at https://www.vasmith.com/blog/2021/1/6/why-empaths-really-feel-drained
